HP Rivers

  • Final Master’s Project – Anagape Trauma and the Beloved Community

    This is my presentation of my thesis project for my Master’s of Religious Leadership for Social Change at Starr King School for the Ministry. It has been an incredible labor of love and a healthy dose of tears and swear words over the last year, and I couldn’t be more proud of it. I hope…

    HP Rivers

  • The Big Sad

    The truth isI can’t rememberThe last timeI wrote a poem,Wore lipstick,Baked a cakeJust for the fun of it,Marveled at the moon. I can’t rememberThe last timeI felt like a personand not a production,The last time I wasn’tExhausted by strength,Just getting through. I don’t know whenI stopped smiling,But I know my bodyMisses laughter. I have no…

    HP Rivers

  • Cactus

    I asked my spouse To stop buying me flowers – “Buy me a houseplant instead, So I don’t have to watch them die.” So now my “Sorry you got assaulted” cactus Sits on the mantle Next to Uncle Frank and the “Congratulations on 6 months sober!” cactus And the one I picked up For her…

    HP Rivers

  • A Blessing for Month 19

    When loveFeels like the trenchesAnd the only way outIs through hell –And you have seen enough of hell,Thank-you-VERY-much –And giving upIs the onlyLessDesirable option – Breathe. Be heldBy whatever-the-fuck-in-Godde’s-nameHas carried you this far. And rest there.

    HP Rivers

  • Brave

    I used to buy my courage secondhandAt the Lucky Duck Thrift ShopWhere every purchase supportedLocal kids with autism,And emboldenedLocal queers with trembling handsAnd pounding hearts. They shut downSome time ago;The economy doesn’t seem to like usWhen we’re full of courage,Thirsty for our own power. These daysI hunt it on the street,Holding my own handAs I…

    HP Rivers

  • Onset

    Knowing the storm is coming Might be the worst part. It’s like going away to war – Again, Like saying your goodbyes Just in case, Like wondering If you’ll ever come home again. She kicks in the door Like an old nemesis And smiles, Sweet as tea, As she licks her teeth. Depression Doesn’t care…

    HP Rivers

  • Dear Body: A Narrative Shift & Ritual Offering of Psychiatric Medication

    I’m writing about this because when I spoke to my doctor about it, they said that since the pandemic, an incredible number of people are dealing with depression, anxiety, and other mental health symptoms, some for the first time, some after long periods of remission, and some are facing more intense symptoms than usual. Remember that…

    HP Rivers