Helen "HP" Rivers

HP Rivers, 2024

Before I decided to be a minister,
Before I decided to be a parent,
Before I decided to be a UU –
I decided to be a camp counselor.

And when I say I ‘decided,’ I mean:
At 14, I was so anxious that some days,
I couldn’t respond
when I was called on in school.

At 31,
Nothing lights me up
like preaching for a church full of people.
That is where I shine,
where God and I exist
on the exact same wavelength
and I know without a single doubt that
I am exactly where I am meant to be,
doing exactly what I was made to do.

At 16,
before I learned when to watch my mouth
or how to use my voice,
someone saw a leader in me, and
for the first time, decided to nurture it,
and I decided to assume
a confidence I definitely did not feel
and give it my all.

I call those “God moments” now –
when I don’t know how I did
something and all I can do is
thank the Ancestors
for getting me through.

I never would have become a
pastor who loves to preach
if I hadn’t first been a
camp counselor awkwardly
and joyfully throwing
dodgeballs and my whole entire soul
into a song about a moose
to make a bunch of 7-year-olds laugh –
all without a single doubt that
I was exactly where I was meant to be,
doing exactly what I was made to do.

God moments are everywhere
if you pay attention.

I imagine God loves songs about mooses
and penguins and little red wagons.

God knows the laughter of
children is worship,
too.