As many of y’all know, I have been in the process of working towards becoming a UU minister since 2018. I have spent the last several years going to seminary and working in UU congregations as a religious educator and media specialist, as well as generally kicking ass (and sometimes getting my ass kicked) as a neurodivergent solo parent to an exceptional neurodivergent kid.
I still have two huge hurdles to clear before I can see the Ministerial Fellowship Committee (MFC) at the UUA, which is a prerequisite for fellowship and ordination as a UU minister – a 400-hour unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) and a 1000-hour ministerial internship. (I gave a service about what it takes to become a UU minister a few months ago. Spoiler alert – it’s a lot!)
I have 16 years of experience working with kids, 14 years of experience in Unitarian Universalism, and 6 years of experience as a Unitarian Universalist religious professional. Since graduating from Starr King School for the Ministry with my MA in Social Change in 2023, I have applied and interviewed for dozens of jobs, fellowships, internships, and other opportunities with UU and non-UU organizations. Fortunately for all of those organizations, I have some of the most brilliant and talented colleagues in the world.
Unfortunately for me, that means none of those opportunities have been the right one for me. I’ve been piecing together side gigs, contracts, and part-time jobs, striving to balance work, ministerial formation, and solo parenting and homeschooling a kid with significant needs under late-stage capitalism- not to mention all the fun shadow work that comes up during seminary, laundry that never seems to end, and breaking generational curses so my kid needs less therapy than I do. Honestly, I am fucking exhausted.
In the last few months, two of my best options to complete a ministerial internship fell through for reasons that are nobody’s fault. This and a few more disappointments happened around the same time as General Assembly ’24, and I spent a lot of time that week grappling with if I even want a seat at this table anymore.
Often this process has felt like nothing but false starts, false hope, and barrier after barrier, ultimately sending the message that UU ministry is technically open to all, but truly designed to be most accessible to ministers who embody certain privileges and identities that I, and many of my colleagues, simply don’t. So I sat with my feelings (which fucking sucked) and decided…
Something Resembling God imprinted upon my soul that my witchy, rainbow-haired, foul-mouthed, Aries-moon, Taurus-sun, ADHD ass was planted on this silly little rock hurtling through space and time to be a minister, and I’m going to finish the MFC and earn my ordination even if I have to cuss the whole time.
The Whole Plan is still unfolding, but for now, I’m very proud to share my newest creative endeavor – Blessed Bee by HP Rivers: Specializing in Church Merch That Doesn’t Suck for Religious Professionals Who Say F*ck.
Yes, there are definitely some non-sweary options, too, including coffee cups of course, and some UU designs that tie in the new Article II Revisions including…
JETPIG:
THE T-Shirt
Available in multiple designs for kids and adults.
I am committed to equitable pricing and will never charge extra for inclusive sizes.
This business is a labor of love inspired by the camaraderie I’ve experienced and witnessed working alongside my Unitarian Universalist and interfaith religious professional colleagues over the last several years. I hope it makes y’all giggle and also helps you remember the work you’re doing matters, it’s super fucking hard, swearing & dark humor help a little, and you deserve to feel cute and confident while dismantling the patriarchy and colonialism brick by fucking brick the way Ms. Marsha intended.
Colleagues especially – please, please use the contact form on my website (directly below this post!) to share your feedback and ideas, let me know where I can do better, and even dream about the kinds of products and designs would best support your ministry and your mental health.
I have some tricks (think Halloween/Pride mashup for my Eternal Halloween Celebration buddies) and some treats (sweary oracle deck designed especially for my friends from Ministers Who Say ****) up my sleeve that I can’t wait to share with you.
This first collection specifically features matching child and adult t-shirts for my Pastor Parents comrades and is the first phase of something I think could be pretty spectacular and, Goddess willing, will fund my writing projects and journey towards fellowshipped and ordained UU ministry.
I’m so fucking excited to find out what happens next.
Thank you for being a part of my journey.
With Love & Gratitude,
Helen “HP” Rivers
Owner, HP Rivers, LLC
Visit the Blessed Bee Shop by HP Rivers
Helen "HP" Rivers 