Day 17 – Doubt
I woke up at 7:45 AM this morning with my mind racing. I worked most of the day and now find myself laying in bed at 11:35 PM with my mind still racing. There’s a lot of doubt going on right now. I certainly doubt that I did enough today, but I don’t doubt that I took this photo a few weeks ago because my racing mind tonight would need to hear that message.
“I am here. Godde is here. We are one.”
Everything really will be ok.
Day 18 – Music
“Everything’s already alright.”
Day 19 – Resistance
Day 20 – Change
There’s so much going on right now, and some of it is scary and not fun, but finally having time to watch classic Disney movies with Henry is definitely a welcome change. ❤️
Day 21 – Wind
“Winds be still.
Storm clouds pass and silence come.
Peace grace this time with harmony.
Fly, bird of hope, and shine, light of love,
and in calm let all find tranquility.”
Day 22 – Remorse
The absolute best thing I’ve done for myself in the past few days was turn off my computer and phone for a full hour, during which time I tidied up, started dinner, and colored this picture of a unicorn riding a narwhal. No remorse. #selfcare
Day 23 – Freedom
Almost a year ago, Henry told me they wanted to wear a dress. I took this photo about 30 minutes after they picked this one, the first one, out. As someone who really appreciates fashion and aesthetics, it broke my heart to realize they’d never felt pretty in or excited by their clothes before. May we all be free and empowered to do and be whatever makes us happy. 💜
Day 24 – Grace
We all need grace right now. Grace to be silly. Grace to be loud. Grace to relax into humor if we need it. Grace to take a nap in the back yard and refuse to check email for a few hours.
Consider this a message from the Universe encouraging and empowering you to give yourself whatever grace you need right now. ❤️
Day 25 – Craft
I was going to post a picture of a wire-wrapped crystal pendant I tried to make today, but it turns out wire wrapping is one craft I’m not actually good at. 🤷🏼♀️
Enjoy this photo of my hand-crafted stress cooking instead. 😅
Day 26 – Justice & Day 27 – Struggle
I much prefer my office to my work-from-home setup. I much prefer having childcare and the freedom to go anywhere I want on a whim to being home with my kid all day. I much prefer giving hugs and high fives to my kids at church to offering RE through a computer screen.
This is uncomfortable for me right now, but I’m also making the world just a little safer for others. Justice isn’t a blissful utopia where we all live effortlessly in harmony. Justice functions better as a verb, like love. It takes work, and it takes consciously trading the comfort of privilege – the privilege of being white or able bodied or financially secure or, in this case, low-risk – for some struggle in the interest of the greater good.
Day 28 – Fire
Social Distancing ✅
Day 29 – Trust, Day 30 – Inspiration, & Day 31 – Support,
Day 32 – Surrender
There’s a brand new, unopened deck of oracle cards on my desk in Tallahassee called “The Wild Offering Oracle: A 52-Card Deck on Giving It All To God.”
God language aside, I’m not even sure why I bought it because “surrender” is barely in my vocabulary, much less my to do list, but I saw it and just had to have it.
I suppose, as per usual, my Higher Self knows better than my human self does, and They told me I absolutely needed to have those cards. So I guess they’ll be waiting for me whenever my aversion to surrender shifts, which I expect it will, because They have a way of making me face the things that make me cringe head-on.🤷🏼♀️
Day 33 – Love
Day 34 – Reach
Day 35 – Rain
No rain, no rainbows, no flowers.
I‘m choosing to believe there will be a breathtaking spring on the other side of all this. 💛
Day 36 – Confession
My grandpa makes me a palm cross every year on Palm Sunday. Every year I stick it in my windshield and it becomes a part of the mobile altar that is my car, complete with some crystals and cool sticks and the homemade smudge spray I keep in the center console.
It doesn’t have a spiritual significance to me, but it’s special because it comes from him, and I know the ritual of making them means a lot to him too. So I sent him a pack of 100 palms to fold today so he won’t miss out due to churches being closed.
Day 37 – Acceptance
My whole coming out process revolved around my church. This was one of the best, most affirming days of my life so far. 🏳️🌈❤️🌈
Day 38 – Forgiveness
I’m trying to offer myself radical forgiveness over and over these days. Radical forgiveness for dishes left undone, emails left unanswered, patience worn thin, for holding myself to higher expectations than I would anyone else in my shoes, and for selfies that look like abstract art that no one really understands.
Day 39 – Awe
I took this photo this morning. My grandmother’s azaleas bloomed this week, and they are gorgeous. 💛
Day 40 – Mercy
I was hoping to stumble upon a quote or something to help me figure out what to write today, but the juxtaposition of COVID-19 alert to the definition was exactly what I needed to see.
We’re all at the mercy of one another right now. My loved ones are at the mercy of your loved ones, my child to your child, and vice versa. There is no amount of privilege, ability, or luck that can completely protect anyone from getting sick. There is no one that this doesn’t apply to. May we all choose to be merciful.
Day 41 – Cry
Today I practiced self-care by opening the windows even though I didn’t have the motivation to go outside, feeding and watering my body, crying at an objectively crappy TV show, and participating in an online session with my therapist. How did you take care of yourself today?
Day 42 – Bloom
Day 43 – Resilience
Yesterday was rough. I yelled. We both cried. I felt the weight of what’s going on in the world and Henry felt the weight of having a caregiver who was overwhelmed. But today we made cookies. The recipe didn’t call for marshmallows, but Henry wanted to add them, so we did. And we listened to The Eagles and The Beatles and Elton John. We opened the windows and cleaned up a bit, and things seem calmer and easier. I think resilience is a lot like courage – not necessarily feeling very brave or totally better, but simply trying again. 💜
Day 44 – Transcend & Day 45 – Gratitude
I’m grateful for even these tiny moments of awe for that which is greater than me, for the break in the clouds, for perspective, and for all of the wild and wonderful things that have happened since I stood in this spot gazing at the moon this time last year. The Universe always manages to provide in ways that transcend my wildest dreams.
Day 46 – Anticipation
Day 47 – Rejoice
Last year, my birthday fell on Easter weekend. On Thursday, a part of me died in a very real and powerful way. On Friday and Saturday, I rested in the tender care of my beloved chosen family. I began tending to my wounds and celebrated new beginnings. On Sunday, I got to join my beloved community in celebrating all of the beautiful pieces we are of the collective whole. What followed those days can only be described as a brutal and rapid manifestation of my Divine purpose and Highest Good, which is still unfolding beautifully before me.
So have you heard the good news? The resurrection wasn’t a one-time thing. It wasn’t exclusive to one teacher who lived a long time ago. The Odyssey is a Christ story. Harry Potter is a Christ story. My story is a Christ story. The Christ story is a Human story. I do believe that Jesus was Divine – just no more Divine than anyone else. I believe he simply owned it. We are all Beloved children of the Universe, the Divine expressing themselves in Human form. We all have the power and ability to be reborn, to begin again, to own our Divine right to a life we love. We are all capable of such, and we are all worthy. And that is cause for rejoicing.