Helen "HP" Rivers

I’m sorry I missed you. 
I’m sorry I didn’t do the dishes. 
I’m sorry I didn’t know how to say the monster sitting on my chest was suffocating me, wouldn't let me move.
I’m sorry I came back. 
I’m sorry I stayed. 

I’m sorry I stopped asking what was wrong. 
I’m sorry I tried harder instead of resting.
I’m sorry I tried harder instead of letting go. 
I’m sorry I canceled at the last minute.
I’m sorry I made it weird. 
I’m sorry I tried too hard.
I’m sorry I said too much. 
I’m sorry I was too much.
I’m sorry I didn’t say more. 
I’m sorry my excitement startled you.
I’m sorry I didn’t see the signs.

I’m sorry I didn’t know better. 
I’m sorry I didn’t hold you accountable. 
I’m sorry I didn’t hold myself accountable.
I’m sorry I blamed you.
I’m sorry I made my anxiety your problem. 
I’m sorry I double texted. 
I’m sorry I triple texted. 
I’m sorry this is getting so long. 

I’m sorry I missed your baby shower. 
I’m sorry I missed your ordination. 
I’m sorry I missed your wedding. 
I’m sorry I missed the funeral. 
I’m sorry I missed your birthday. 
I’m sorry I missed your text. 
I’m sorry I missed your baby’s first birthday.
I’m sorry I missed your postpartum depression. 
I’m sorry I wasn’t there. 

I’m sorry I didn’t do the dishes.
I’m sorry I forgot how important I am. 
I’m sorry I forgot my own worth. 
I’m sorry I gave away my power. 
I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye. 

I’m sorry I had to work. 
I’m sorry it ended that way. 
I’m sorry you got dragged into it. 
I’m sorry you had to see that. 
I’m sorry you had to hear that. 
I’m sorry we moved again. 
I’m sorry I didn’t try harder. 
I’m sorry I had to give up. 
I’m sorry I didn’t give up sooner.
I’m sorry I forgot to eat. 

I’m sorry I got stressed out and stopped taking care of myself. 
I’m sorry I asked for your advice then didn’t take it. 
I’m sorry it had to come to this. 
I’m sorry I didn’t drink water. 
I'm sorry I forgot to call. 
I’m sorry I don’t visit more. 
I’m sorry I can’t stay too long. 
I’m sorry, the monster on my chest was roaring.

I’m sorry I didn’t text back. 
I’m sorry I didn’t call. 
I’m sorry I didn’t write. 
I’m sorry I didn’t apologize. 
I’m sorry I didn’t write a thank you note.
I’m sorry I wrote all the thank you notes and forgot to send them for three years before I finally threw them away.

I’m sorry my tummy was never flat.
I’m sorry I embarrassed you. 
I'm sorry I care.
I’m sorry I was a nerd.
I’m sorry I was a burden. 
I’m sorry I was too much.
I’m sorry I was oblivious.
I’m sorry I missed the mark. 

I’m sorry I let you call the police. 
I’m sorry I went with you. 
I’m sorry I didn’t stop you. 
I’m sorry I didn’t see you were hurting. 
I’m sorry I couldn’t play. 
I’m sorry I can’t make it. 
I’m sorry I didn’t speak up. 
I’m sorry I was busy. 
I’m sorry I couldn’t get a sitter. 
I’m sorry I don’t want to go. 
I’m sorry I went anyway. 
I’m sorry I said it just to see your reaction. 
I’m sorry I said anything at all. 

I’m sorry I came back. 
I’m sorry I ghosted you. 
I’m sorry I asked you out. 
I’m sorry I went out with you. 
I’m sorry I didn’t leave sooner. 
I’m sorry I acted ridiculous. 
I’m sorry I made it about me.
I’m sorry I cancelled our visit. 
I’m sorry I cancelled our call.
I’m sorry, the monster on my chest is terrifying.

I’m sorry I inserted myself in situations where I didn’t belong.
I’m sorry I came to your wedding with a shaved head and a fresh tattoo. 
I’m sorry I tried to help and ways that were unhelpful. 

I’m sorry I was overstimulated. 
I’m sorry I was awkward. 
I’m sorry I made it your problem. 
I’m sorry I didn’t listen. 
I’m sorry I made it my business. 
I’m sorry I met you at all. 
I’m sorry I said that thing.
I’m sorry I posted that thing. 

I’m sorry I posted instead of talking to you. 
I’m sorry I broke your thing. 
I’m sorry I broke your heart. 
I’m sorry I broke your trust. 
I’m sorry I didn’t get to know you better.
I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance.

I’m sorry I wasn’t ready. 
I’m sorry I took it too far. 
I’m sorry I said yes. 
I’m sorry I said no. 
I’m sorry I even asked. 

I’m sorry I was overprepared. 
I’m sorry I was overdressed. 
I’m sorry I was underdressed. 
I’m sorry I didn’t understand.
I’m sorry I missed the cue. 

I’m sorry I missed your message. 
I'm sorry I didn't do the dishes.
I’m sorry I missed you.