Helen "HP" Rivers

In May 2018 I graduated with my AS in Social Work. After graduation, I was excited to accept a position at a residential treatment center for children and youth with developmental disorders.

The job of caring for these children was hard and important. They had all experienced significant trauma and required a great deal of support throughout the day. Most were in the foster system and displayed trauma response behaviors that made it unsafe for them to reside in traditional foster homes. The work was physically and emotionally demanding and desperately underpaid, but I was glad to know I was making at least a small difference to some of the kids.

This was my first experience working directly with a vulnerable population and my first job as a caring professional. I had no idea that by the end of the year, I would no longer be pursuing social work professionally.

I also had no idea that by the end of the year, I would finally come out to myself, accept my call to ministry, and become completely estranged from my parents.

Five years later, I still can’t pinpoint exactly when I realized my family was irreparably broken. However, I do remember the moment when I lost all respect for the person who gave birth to me.

When speaking about my new position, she mocked me and my clients, saying, “Helen is saving the world, one [r-slur] at a time.”

This is only one of the statements that would become final blows to our once-close relationship, and that wasn’t the only slur I had to frequently insist not be used around my toddler in her home.

I have spent the last five years consumed with the work of healing and reclaiming myself from the hateful and harmful rhetoric and people I grew up around. I am thankful every day for the people and communities who have loved me into being and helped me develop the confidence to achieve my dreams. I am incredibly proud of myself not only for everything I have achieved and become – but also for everything I have un-learned and everything I didn’t become. I am honored to serve the Beloved Community and use my experiences to make the world more affirming, accessible, loving, and safe for all of our neighbors – one confidence boost at a time.

Alt Text:
A collection of images of people (and one hot pink skeleton) wearing #BlessedBeeByHP shirts.
Headline says:
Blessed Bee by HP Rivers: Building the Beloved Community – One Confidence Boost at a Time (Series of 6 images with the story above in text on them)